9:20 PM// Yes, I really am over 21

At the time of this writing, I am 23. But for some reason, I look about 7½. I'm not sure what my deal was during puberty, but that cheek baby fat you're supposed to loose: never happened. Also I have curly blonde hair. So as one might imagine, I almost never slip past the register at the liquor store without ID in hand.

But most people are just doing their job; it's their own head on the chopping block if they sell to a minor. This I understand. What I don't understand are the people who are so shocked they need to draw attention to it, call other coworkers over to marvel at the spectacle that is me, or otherwise strike up a friendly conversation about how shockingly prepubescent I appear to them.

These people can be neatly grouped into 3 main categories:

Other 20 Somethings

These people never say anything. If it's a guy, there's about a 50% chance he'll even card me. If it's a girl, make that 70%. Still, nobody my own age gives me crap. It only goes downhill from here.

Men over age 40

The most I get from these types are a good once-over with a cocked eye, followed by a suspicious, "you got ID suun?". Tolerable

Old White Women

Not a peep from any other category. In fact, the other categories only exist to emphasize this point. Old white women always comment on my youthful appearance. Old white women comments fit nicely into two subcategories:

Friendly, yet Annoying

These types usually have something like this to say:

"Why, honey I never would've thought you'd be old enough for this! Hey, Susan, would you have guessed he's old enough?"

What I find most gratifying is that although their first impressions of my are shattered by my legal documentation of age, it is this first impression which guides they way they speak to me. It's the tone they would use to a small child -- the way they were going to speak to me when they thought I was 7 pushing 8. Despite knowing that I'm old enough to drive, they forget to readjust their perception.

These types are annoying, but often they can pass as cute, quirky old ladies

Belligerent Without Cause

These are my absolute favorite. There's nothing like being yelled at by a crabby old woman for the heinous crime of walking into the store. Examples include:

1. 
   I walk into a liquor store with my friend and we quietly begin browsing. We are the only customers. After 15-30 seconds the old woman guarding the register yells across the store to me:
   

   "Are you 21, suun?!"

   
   

   Mind you, this is not an idle question. It is piercing and accusing. It's downright rude, and I haven't done a thing except look young. I look up and simply say "yes", returning to my browsing. For some reason, this flusters the old woman because she was expecting to "catch" a young rabble-rouser in the act or some such nonsense. She stumbles over her words for a few seconds, growls something inaudible, and assures me that she'll not forget to check my ID when I checkout.

   
   

   Thanks; I love you too. What a wonderful shopping experience.

   
   
2. 
   I attempt to purchase beer from my local grocer. I select a six-pack from the appropriate aisle and begin the trek to the nearest register. Sure enough, there's an elderly woman on duty and lucky for me she currently has no other customers. I'm about 20 feet away and she sees me walking towards her, toting my beer. She calls out from 20 feet
   

   "Hey, you got your ID?!"

   
   

   This tone is not accusing; it's inquisitive and thoroughly impatient. Am I supposed to shout back? Chuck my ID at her? Go long, Grandma? I wait until I'm within a few feet of the register so I can respond like a normal person.